The story of JiJi and Pizza

my sassy boyfriend

stay tuned to this entry.

sassy boyfriend

i guess the list is non exhaustive.
here are the set of advices for the other girls who come into your life.

0. be really patient, if you have any problems, don't explode. refer to this faq. telling him any problems you face does more harm than good. it will only lead to an unnecessary quarrels and lots of sleepless nights.

1. try not to hate dota. if he enters a game, he will not bother to inform you and you will expect no replies until the game ends. soon he may enter another game. unless you're someone he is really interested in.
he usually plays dota at night so, if you hang out outside, look after yourself.

2. at the beginning of the relationship, he will chat with you first on msn. afterwards, he will not do that anymore. be sure you greet him first and don't really chat with him because he doesn't want to listen. if not, he will find you a nuisance. wait for him to share with you.

3. don't call him. unless you're someone special, he hates his phone ringing. just wait for him to call. wait forever.
don't sms him especially during work. wait for his smses and just reply to his sms. make sure you reply.

4. the only presents he will look for you is the first valentine's present, the first month together and perhaps your first birthday. so don't expect to celebrate or exchange presents anymore after that when he loses interest in you.

5. when he wants to sleep, he means it, no matter how important things you waited to tell him, forget it. just let him get his beauty sleep.

6. he will tell you to let him know if you go out with a guy friend, cos he minds.
but don't bother asking him whether he goes out with another girl alone, he will only call you jealous and possessive.

7. at the beginning of the relationship, if you got introduced to his friends, congratulations! if he saw his friends and just chatted with them and left you aside, don't be too disheartened.

8. don't expect him to tag any pictures of you together on facebook. don't expect him to change his relationship status for you. so if your friends keep asking about your boyfriend, just say he is really shy. if other guys are still interested in you, ask them to contact him.

9. change all your tomboyish habits. don't put your hand on the hips, don't cross and don't shake your leg because he hates it.

10. be sure you love dogs. even if you're scared. he is a dog lover and keeps a really cute dog. if milo doesn't bark or jump excitedly at you, congrats.

11. try to get a good knowledge of biology and reproduction, so that you will satisfy him and won't drive him away with worries.

12. don't bother if he keeps pictures of his past girlfriends or saw him watching naughty stuff. he won't change for you.

13. if you feel really unloved and unconfident fat ugly not pretty, it is really your fault. saw him smiling or treating other girls nicer, just remember you need to have a big heart and not talk about it. because you're already his girlfriend so he won't make you feel special anymore.

14. if his friend tells you or he really cheats on you and you still cherish him, just close one eye and don't tell him you know. once you tell him you know, he's gone forever. he will not feel sorry for you. and don't confide in any friend. don't talk about his friend. don't talk to his friend. just keep it all to yourself.

15. he will not wait for you or pull the seat for you like a gentleman. at the beginning of relationship, he will say man is born to wait for woman. after which, he will give you a really black face and scold you if you turn up late. so, be punctual. and don't tell him you turned up earlier, don't.

16. don't decide the time and place to go out when he asks you because he will decide anyway. be sure you have a variety of food that you want to eat in city and town area of singapore, so that he doesn't get irritated when he doesn't know what to eat.

17. he does own a pair of track shoes now, but other than training for ippt, he won't really do any sports with you other than skating and swimming. so make sure you know both really well.

18. don't book tickets in advance unless he really ask you to. don't expect him to spend more than one day with you a week. sometimes none.

19. he will bring a camera at the beginning of relationship. after which, he won't take pictures with you anymore. it's all up to you to keep memories, because the memories mean nothing to him.

20. if you know he's lying, don't bother asking him for the truths. just wait for him forever to turn back.

21. if you managed to stay by his side, do give him lots of massage. because his back is always aching.

22. don't expect him to cook, unless you do not mind eating maggie mee with oyster sauce. do not expect him to know how to use pancake mix because he will cook 10 servings into 1. besides, he will surely fall for you if you would make soup for him.

23. do not let him eat mcspicy, because his tummy is very weak and will have runs in the toilet or subtle pain without mousse.
similarly, do not let him drink gassy drinks like pepsi or coke. maybe once in a while.
he likes to drink milk tea but make sure you share with him because milk is not gd for his tummy.

24. do not expect him to eat pasta or vegetable meals. he needs to have meat in every meal and he loves chicken the most.

posted by pizzza @ 1:45 AM